It's Saturday night, and you can't dance. Your moves are tired. You need a crash course in COOL. Unless you want to stand on the sidelines and watch life pass you by, you need to get busy. "Acting" cool doesn't work, and saying you don't dance only convinces people you're an uptight wuss and no fun at all, but dragging out those ancient ballroom moves from your wedding (the disco thing, with that unconvincing lip-bite) is a big mistake that will send folks screaming for the exits. Sure, you can stay at home and mope, but that's a lousy option.
Fortunately, you're in luck. At great expense, we've brought James Brown back to give you a dance lesson. You'll never be as cool as Soul Brother Number One, but having James Brown as your personal trainer can only help your odds. Don't thank me, thank JB. Now get busy!
