Tuesday, November 24, 2009


A vintage Thanksgiving card--for some, a turkey isn't enough!

Thanksgiving is a wonderful feast, and anticipation makes it even tastier. All that time waiting for the turkey the smells in the kitchen waft through the house. Then finally the stuffing and mashed potatoes and candied yams are placed in the table, and then finally the star of the show, as the golden bird appears! It's a feast to satisfy anybody!

Well, almost. Vegetarians will huddle around a gelatinous tofurkey. Yawn. Sure, it beats the hell out of tofu dogs, but that's not saying much. And there's another renegade group, a certain breed of Southern American that embraces the other extreme, adding even more meat! Here's an old favorite film clip:

Paula Deen, the Queen of Carnage, "builds" a turducken. Wild turduckens used to roam freely but nowadays they must be assembled like Frankenstein's monster. A chicken is put inside a duck, which in turn is stuffed into a turkey. Vegetarians may want to leave out an animal or two.

Forget the tofurkey!

If the turducken seems gross and extreme, remember that the ancient Romans might look at this unholy beast as just the beginning, and stuff it inside a sheep, then a pig, and finally a cow. They would call it a Turduckasheeporkow, and slice it like a jellyroll. Some say it brought down the empire.

Ancient Romans killing time while awaiting the arrival of the Turduckasheeporkow

One more Paula Deen moment, and a warning to us all. Even cooking professionals must be alert and aware in the kitchen:

Paula Deen being hit in the face by a ham. Evidently, she didn't know it was being thrown.

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