ATTACK OF THE KILLER ZOMBIES

If you're like me, you love zombies. We're talking crazed, hungry undead reanimated corpses that roam the earth in search of human flesh--not the numb dullards you may see on a daily basis. Those are co-workers. We're talking actual zombies with their flesh rotting off. Zombies are the rage. They're hot! There are plenty of zombies movies out there, a zombie survival guide, and --believe it or not--a rewrite of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" replete with zombies. Yawn. For my money, the original zombies are the best. Kudos to George Romero who spent about twelve bucks to produce the definitive zombie classic--the brilliant low budget 1968 masterpiece "Night of the Living Dead."


You can't beat these reanimated corpses, that's for sure. These slow moving creeps amble along after you while you try to escape...but the car won't start, or you break a heel, or you slip in the muddy graveyard. It's excruciating. They keep coming.

Along with the Austen parody, there are plenty of other attempts to breath life into the tired old zombie genre, including "serious literature" such as "World War Z," a tale of surviving an all-out zombie war, and "The Zombie Survival Guide," a how-to book with the same idea. There are new and improved zombies, such as the fast running bloodhounds of "28 Days Later," and the hilariously slow-moving ghouls of "Shaun of the Dead," but for my money the best zombie flick is the black and white gore-fest shown above. This is the bomb. Watch it with the lights down low.

Enough revisionist zombies! Why update, morph, and remix the original unless you can improve it? Zombies are in vogue, and while they may never be as popular and sexy as vampires--witness the "Twilight" phenomenon of teen bloodsuckers--they have a certain dignified stature among the undead. Let's keep it that way. Help the zombies survive the hacks.

SITTING ON THE BED WITH THE RICH AND FAMOUS

Andy Warhol, Steven Spielberg, and Bianca Jagger sit on a bed and discuss TV and radio. Society idolizes the rich and famous to such a degree that one would think these people--who brought us pop art, Indiana Jones, and, well, Jade Jagger, respectively--would somehow be more interesting than the rest of us. Evidently not. At least not when they're sitting around in a hotel room. Oh, some of it is interesting, but if these were three unknowns saying the same things I bet you would be bored stiff.

Galileo, famous for inventing the telescope

As we strive and connive to attain our goals, to do good work, or to simply crack the code of success--let's remember the rich and famous put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. Or they have someone else put their pants on for them, but you know what I mean. They are not a separate species. We know this, yet for some reason we remain mystified. We're obsessed. Turn on the TV, and note how much programming is devoted to celebrity and fame. Some people have accomplished great things, but some are simply famous for being famous.

Donnie, famous for his chili

This mystification is reflected in the famous exchange between Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald: "The rich are not like us." Hemingway: "Yes, they have more money."

The myth prevails. The grass is always greener...things must be better elsewhere, right? It must be more clever, fascinating, fun, comfortable. I'm reminded of the scene in Woody Allen's "Stardust Memories," when Woody sits in a dirty train, with dull, depressed people. A train pulls up alongside full of people in evening dress, drinking champagne, and having a wonderful time. A beautiful woman blows him a kiss. Woody tries desperately to change trains, but it's too late.

It's a funny scene. The other world looks so good from a distance, and that women looks inviting, but for all we know she could be Paris Hilton.

Paris Hilton, famous for being famous