Friday, July 22, 2011


"The Classic Lean"

Summer is here, and you're probably enjoying the sunshine, drinking gin and tonics and making out. Sure you are. This is prime make-out season. If you're not, this instructional video might come in handy. For laughs, anyway. This self-described flirting expert is preying upon your insecurities--a time-tested means of making money--and offering her advice. For a fee, she'll tell you that eye-contact is important, and give you a plethora of irresistible flirting moves such as batting your eyelashes, casually touching your hair, making suggestive smiles, giggling, stretching, cooing, teasing, flattering, playing footsie and using "The Lean" (pictured above).

Follow this advice and you will look like an complete idiot. You need a little sugar but you'll probably get slapped with a restraining order. Don't giggle, stretch, lean, bat your eyelashes or zero in for the kill. Talk. Smile. Learn to relax and be yourself. Then--if that proves hopeless--fork over some hard-earned cash for this video and a classy Polyester pantsuit. Stand up straight and take a deep breath. See that chick over there by the salad bar? She is so into you.

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