Thursday, October 21, 2010


We like donuts and Obama, pure and simple. The president visited Seattle today and he made an important snack stop at Top Pot, the best donut shop in the city.

As you may know, Seattle is a bastion of liberal lefty donut lovers and the epicenter of all that those mouth-breathing Middle America tea party simpletons fear and despise. The cliches are true: we read books, we drink coffee, we eat donuts and we think outside the box. Try it sometimes.

Oh, there are still a few haters and corporate jarheads in our town--people like Dino Rossi, who raised a fortune in out of state corporate contributions for his "business-friendly" tax breaks for the rich, but for the most part the Seattle stereotypes are true: we love donuts and coffee and microbeer and President Obama. Even now, after a rough couple years he's still infinitely better than that last guy from Texas who got us into war and debt of record proportions. Rossi is one of the reasons for Obama's visit; to rally support for Patty Murray, the liberal democrat besieged by an expensive smear campaign from the Rossi camp.

Here he is, the most powerful man in the free world, munching on a cake donut. “This is outstanding,” Obama said, as he took a bite. “You can’t eat this every day.” Truer words were never spoke, certainly not by a politician. Forget Krispy Kreme, which taste like fried air, these are the real deal. Bush's idea of a snack was fried pork rinds. We had too many of those when we were doing Atkins to appreciate their folksy charm, and they're not bad, really, but they're not donuts.

Take a walk on the wild side, America. Loosen your necktie and try a glazed old fashioned or a maple bar today and, who knows, you might suddenly understand the need for universal health care or a limit on campaign contributions. You might even toss out your Toby Keith records and cut that mullet once and for all.

By the way, Obama also rocked a huge crowd on the University of Washington campus, so he wasn't just here for the donuts. Even so, I'm sure some people will probably quit eating donuts now that Obama has given them the thumps up. Palin will call them un-American, and Glenn Beck will weep publicly and invoke Satan, and their crackpot followers will follow suit. You know the types: the crazy flat-worlders and dittoheads, the trigger-happy gun nuts and militia types, the medieval anti-science teachers, and the usual bigots and bad spellers and virulently anti-gay marriage activists who inevitably get caught with male prostitutes.

Think about it. Read a book. Challenge your brain. Buy a clue. In the meantime, have a donut. That's what freedom tastes like.

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