Showing posts with label happy new year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy new year. Show all posts

Thursday, January 1, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


"Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever."
~Mark Twain


Happy New Year!


In case you missed 2008, here is a recap:

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

DRUNK HISTORY



New Year's Eve is a drinking holiday, let's face it. We drink and look back at the year and succumb to weepy sentimentality or forced hilarity--sometimes in the middle of the same sentence. The trouble is, every bar in town is packed with amateurs. People who have no business drinking feel obligated to celebrate the passing of the year with copious amounts of booze. You can see them a mile away. Twenty-two year olds clutching their IDs, ordering sucker drinks with naughty names, getting all lizard-eyed and nauseous, calling each other "dude!"


Hey, is that you? Stay home. Keep the roads clear. It's even cheaper drinking at home, and you can mix your own Screaming Orgasms, Fuzzy Navels, and Flaming Velvet Buttcheeks. Stay home and drink and dial. It's easy. Drink and feel sorry for yourself and call up old friends. Drink and dial, you pathetic loser. Or better yet, drink and email. Take the cowardly path, the walk of shame. Better yet, drink and pass out in front of the TV while watching Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve. That is just too sad. Dick Clark is as old as Methuselah and he looks exactly the same as he ever did so he probably made a deal with the devil or he has a portrait of himself growing old in the cellar. Anyway, pass out pondering such heavy thoughts while watching Dick Clark and some shitty eighties band of fat guys in skinny neckties but be sure you place the bucket near your head before you nod off.


"Drunk History" is a video that has worked it's way around the web. This poor drunk has a story to tell, and he does pretty well with the help of Michael Cera, the star of Juno and practically every other movie this year. Watch and learn something.

Cheers!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

IN THE NEW YEAR



oh I'm still living
at the old address
and I'm waiting on the weather
that i know will pass
i know that its true-its gonna be a good year
outta the darkness-and into the fire
ill tell ya i love ya
and my hearts in the strangest place
thats how it started
and thats how it ends


The Walkmen, "In the New Year."

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

FROM US, TO YOU

Honestly, we couldn't put on a show like this without your support, and we thank you most sincerely. Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday 9 Pound Hammer was selling mealy apples on streetcorners, and now we're one of the most successful enterprises in the blogosphere! I write this note at my desk on the top floor of the Hammer Tower, my heart brimming with gratitude, and my tumbler brimming with Scotch from the Speyside region of the Highlands. It would be bitter, indeed, without all of your support, and I assure you it is not bitter at all but rather smoky and expensive-tasting. This is good stuff. Still, I haven't forgotten the rocky trail I climbed -- we climbed -- to get here, and all the hard work, and perhaps I am surrounded by ghosts at this hour as I remember all that went into this seemingly rapid ascent to the Death Zone -- that supernal height where blogs succeed or suffocate from lack of oxygen. I'm surrounded with memories. I stare at an onyx ashtray as big as my old apartment. I remember the people I crushed to get here, the sacrifices I had to make of myself and others, and as I pour myself another fine Scotch I detect a note of sadness as I contemplate my success -- our success -- or is that just the Speyside talking? Serene here, at this height, looking over the city at the first blush of dawn. There are twinkling lights! Ah, the steam rises from the grates like loosened souls, and I feel like the only living man up here all alone. An empire, yes, but at what cost? Another drink for this husk of a man. A long, steady pour for this wide awake ghost. Sleep on, city, as I drink in darkness, my body slack and sunken into buttery-soft leather, my mind a whirligig. Sleep on, at this ungodly hour, as I stare with watery eyes into the new year.

Monday, December 31, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR



A Clear Midnight

THIS is thy hour O Soul, thy free flight into the wordless,
Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done,
Thee fully forth emerging, silent, gazing, pondering the themes thou
lovest best.
Night, sleep, and the stars.

Walt Whitman

Sunday, December 30, 2007

RUSSIAN NEW YEAR DRINK KVASS!


If you're like us, you celebrate the New Year with the traditional Russian bread drink Kvass, a fermented non alcoholic beverage made from black or rye bread. Now that's Russian! I love this commercial because old Nikola enjoys his Kvass so much! Na zdorovje! S Novym Godom!