HAVE AN ELVIS CHRISTMAS

Elvis Arron Presley, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, or simply "Elvis," is the legendary and mythical figure who brings the gift of rock 'n' roll to good children on Christmas Eve, December 24th. In olden times he wore rockabilly robes, and later on was fat and jolly and wore a white jumpsuit with a huge white cape. Skeptical kids wondered how the late period, Vegas Elvis ever made it down the chimney, but Elvis was magical. He certainly was in this clip from the 1968 Comeback Special.

After years of making Hollywood movies (and being outshined by British longhairs) Elvis surprised everyone by showing up lean and mean, dipped in black leather, and rocking the house. He sang a couple Christmas songs for kids who still believed.


"Santa Claus is Back in Town/ Blue Christmas"
Elvis Presley, 1968 Comeback Special


"Santa, Bring My Baby Back To Me" by Elvis Presley. Click button:


"Merry Christmas Baby" (alternate take) by Elvis. Click button:

HAPPY BOXING DAY!

Boxing Day is celebrated in Britain, Canada, and Australia the day after Christmas. The holiday goes back to the Medieval times, and consists of giving gifts to employees, the poor, or to people in the lower social classes. Contrary to popular opinion, it has nothing to do with leftover boxes, or the sport of boxing.

Therefore, this classic boxing clip has nothing to do with Boxing Day. Still, I couldn't resist posting it. You may argue about the greatest boxers of all time -- Muhammad Ali, Joe Louis, Jack Johnson, Rocky Marciano, Larry Holmes...but this is my all-time favorite pugilistic artist.

BAD SANTAS: CIVILIZATION AND ITS DISCONTENTS

While we're busy chronicling the collapse of Western Civilization, roving gangs of Santas are drinking, brawling, and committing acts of what they call "Santarchy." The movement is nationwide. I narrowly avoided a throng of these drinkers in cheap Santa suits this weekend, and while I was dutifully Christmas shopping they were dodging traffic, singing songs, and pub-crawling up and down the street. Is this for real? Is there really such a thing? Yes, Virginia, there is a Santarchy.

For more info on Santarchy, check this
http://santarchy.com/

THE TELEVISION CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

The Television Christmas special was like a big, shiny gift from the TV networks, and it marked the holiday season. Your family would string popcorn and watch elaborate production numbers with dancers, singers, ice skaters in bright sequined outfits. In black and white. Color came later. One by one, all the life was drained out of Christmas songs by innofensive mainstream singers in sweaters, surrounded by children (extras?) in front of great sparkling sets and grand Christmas trees.

Andy Williams was the bland master of the Christmas special, and every year he wore a special sweater and sang "Do You Hear What I Hear?" For some folks, even Andy was too darn wild, and they'd watch Perry Como who was so low-key he made Andy seem like Little Richard. Perry gave Sominex a run for its money, and put us all to peaceful, dreamy sleep.

The following clip is not Andy or Perry, but something completely different. This is a post-modern Christmas special at Pee Wee's Playhouse, featuring the extremely strange Grace Jones, doing her robotic rendition of the "Little Drummer Boy." Just as Andy and Perry ice-skated with the zeitgeist of Christmas past, Grace and Pee Wee cavort with the spirit of their age. Cool and weird.

RED RED WINE

The holidays are a time to eat, drink, and be merry. Last year, red wine drinkers got a good buzz when Professor David Sinclair from Harvard Medical School published papers suggesting that Resveratrol, aSIRT1 activator found in red wine, could reduce the impact of a highfat diet, increase stamina twofold, and significantly extend life span of mice. Now you could rationalize drinking for your health! No longer were you just a boring drunk, a gin sop, a booze hound -- you were something of a health conscious individual. Wine was medicine.

Sorry to kill your buzz. Sadly, it was estimated that one needed to drink upwards of a thousand bottles of wine a day to achieve the beneficial effects of Resveratrol. With the exception of lab rats and a few of my relatives, no one can drink that much.

The good news: An article published today showcases several new related drugs that have been identified. Sinclair and other researchers have tested some 500,000 molecules, and come up with alternatives to Resveratrol. In fact, the most potent SIRT1 activator they've isolated is a thousand times more powerful! The science baffles me, but the salient point is that these new breakthrough drugs may someday be available to the general public, perhaps in pill form. Soon, it may no longer be necessary to drink a thousand bottles of red wine a day. So relax. Take a breather. With any luck, you may get to be part of clinical studies that begin on humans in 2008. Until then, drink responsibly.

CELEBRITY CHEFS PREPARE TURKEY

Ever watch the Food Network? Where did all these celebrity chefs come from? You've got Anthony Bourdain, Mario Batalli, Giada De Laurentiis, Rachael Ray, Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson, Charlie Trotter, Jacques Pepin, Maryann Esposito, Bobby Flay, Biba Caggiano, Emeril Lagasse, Alton Brown, and a few dozen Iron Chefs. There are a million of them, and now that Thanksgiving is here they're grabbing that turkey like it's the last chopper out of Saigon.

They all can cook turkey. These TV chefs can roast it, bake it, deep fry it, smoke it, stack it sideways, and put little booties on it, but Thanksgiving dinner should be about tradition. That's why we're ignoring these studio-tanned, camera hogs and going with the old pros. Pay attention and learn something.

THE THANKSGIVING STORY

Christopher Walken steals the show in this low-budget historical drama by the Celebrity Bric-a-Brac Theatre. These guys make Roger Corman look like Cecil B. DeMille.