BLAGO'S HAIR EATS JOY BEHAR

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Would you buy a used car from this man? How about a #%*&!@! senate seat? By the way, he doesn't know what happened to your kittens.

We always suspected something was wrong with Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's hair. We had assumed his toupee was wearing a toupee. We had no idea it was alive. As for the man himself, let's withhold our judgment; under our system of law he is innocent until proven brazenly corrupt--and that shouldn't take too long.

Since his impeachment, Blago has been making the rounds of talk shows, ostensibly to plead his case before the American people but really to remove his last shred of dignity before disappearing forever into the dustbin of history.

MICHELLE OBAMA ON THE VIEW

While Cindy McCain was busy getting her batteries changed, Michelle Obama showed up on "The View" to chat with the ladies. After weathering Republican attacks that were both personal and just plain weird -- I loved the one where conservatives were sure her "fist-bump" to husband Barrack was some secret terrorist handshake -- Michelle came to hang out. It must have reassured nervous voters, though I doubt it helped with mouth-breathers who seem to dislike both women and blacks. Still, it was a positive move. It turns out she's smart (another strike against her in Stepford World) and not a bomb-throwing Nee-grow that might appear in nightmares in America's Heartland. And for those who need to know, yes, she is quite capable of handling a vapid daytime television show with good grace and charm.