PROP 8: THE MUSICAL!

warning: this is humor. As you may know, Proposition 8 was a California ballot measure that amended the state Constitution to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman and eliminated the right of same-sex couples to marry.

Come on, people! Get over it. Let 'em marry.

As expected, O'Reilly and the Fox News cretins are outraged--not with the limitation of civil rights, of course, but with the musical. Certain evangelical churches and branches of the American Taliban are warning people not to watch this "video virus." God forbid, you think for yourself! And God forbid you actually see it--you will have to pluck your eyes out, per the Bible.

Just kidding!

Keith Olbermann has the story.

TWO CHRISTMAS CAROLS

Here are two very different Christmas songs--in fact, they probably couldn't be more different. The first is a traditional English Christmas carol, The Holly and the Ivy. This old Yuletide carol is lightly Christianized paganism--holly and ivy being familiar Druidic ceremonial plants, though they have been used as Christmas decoration since at least the fifteenth century. This carol has been sung by choirs since the end of the medieval era, and it sounds like it. The beautiful harmonies of "The Holly and the Ivy" never fail to put me in the holiday spirits. How about you? Let's raise a flagon of mead to these sonorous lads.

The holly and the ivy when they are both full grown

Of all the trees that are in the wood, the holly bears the crown

Oh, the rising of the sun and the running of the deer

The playing of the merry organ, sweet singing in the choir

Bruce Springsteen goes in and out of style but he and the E Streeters are always guaranteed to raise a smile. Here, Bruce and the band (and about seventy-five best friends) rock a tune from the Phil Spector Christmas Album originally recorded by the great Darlene Love, "Christmas! (Baby Please Come Home)," one of the very best Christmas tunes anywhere. Here, the sacred and the profane don't just mingle, they make out under the mistletoe. About halfway through the song, the wheels come off and the whole thing veers toward the snowy ditch but the Boss grabs the wheel and saves everyone from disaster.

COME ON BABY IN OUR DREAMS

And if the snow buries my,
my neighborhood.
And if my parents are crying
then I'll dig a tunnel
from my window to yours...


"Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)" performed at the Lowlands Festival in the Netherlands.

Snow this morning! The neighborhood was completely covered with snow when I woke up, a surprise after the weatherman tried faking us out last night. They called off the warning, and sure enough the cold front hit--which they say will be the longest frigid stretch since the 1980s. I opened the blinds and made hot coffee and kept singing this song about digging tunnels through the snow.

Arcade Fire are perfect for a bright, wintry day. The band is from Montreal, so they know snow. Led by Texan Win Butler and Québécoise Régine Chassagne, this indie rag-tag multi-instrumental troupe powers through joyous and heartbreaking anthems guaranteed to roust the coldest, moribund soul. They bring an axe for the frozen sea within us.

Fun couple: Win Butler and Régine Chassagne

They remember that childhood wasn't all cake and ice cream, and they soar and dive and capture that midnight terror reserved for little ones still wearing feet in their jammies. In their songs, we see a world where sleep is giving in, where an older brother is bitten by a vampire, and the entire neighborhood dances to flashing police lights. It's weird stuff, sure, more art than entertainment, and not for everyone, but if you wake up snowblind and vulnerable this band will blend seamlessly with the illogic of your dreams. Listen to them work their magic.


Somethin’ filled up
my heart with nothin’,
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I’m older,
my heart’s colder,
and I can see that it’s a lie.

Children wake up!

"Wake Up" performed live at Glastonbury



People say that your dreams
are the only things that save ya.
Come on baby in our dreams,
we can live our misbehavior.

Every time you close your eyes
Lies, Lies!


"Rebellion (lies)" performed live at Coachella festival

HIGH ON CHRISTMAS

Willie Nelson is a wise man--maybe not one of the original three, but wise nonetheless--and here he sings of bringing a special gift to the Magi, a gift that smokes more sweetly than either frankincense or myrrh. This is a sneak preview from "A Colbert Christmas."

SONG FOR KAREN

I always liked Karen Carpenter, and not in an ironic, post-modern, cheesy, tongue-in-cheek way. I really liked her. There, I've said it. Not everything she did, of course, not the super corny "Top of the World," and not the silly "Close to Me" ("Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?") and generally not the big hits, but I'll risk losing my hard-earned hipster credentials (yes, I have an actual card) to confess that I like some of her ballads and I might even turn up the car radio when they play a couple. "Superstar," for example. Call it a guilty pleasure.



Karen Carpenter may have been square as a box of Apple Jacks, but she was the girl next door who played the drums and could sing. She was never Wendy O. of the Plasmatics and didn't try to be. Go ahead and laugh. That's what they did last night at the office Christmas party when I sang "Superstar" on the karaoke. I picked the song because it would be funny and yes, I got my cheap laugh, but underneath I always liked that song and maybe that came through because by the end there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Sure, it was from laughing, but even so, for one magical moment if you closed your eyes you could have believed Karen was there.

And maybe she was.



Evidently, some other tragically hip cave-dwellers liked Karen Carpenter, too. Here Sonic Youth performs "Tunic (song for Karen)." These experimental noise rockers give Karen a strange and beautiful tribute.

BYE BYE, BETTIE PAGE

Retro pin-up queen Bettie Page died in Los Angeles at the age of 85. Bettie was the quintessential 1950s stripper elevated to icon status, the scantily clad babe who dominated (snap!) nudie magazines and 8 mm bondage reels and inspired biographies, fan clubs, and countless retro hairdos on hipster chicks who may not even know where those ubiquitous bangs originated. A full-scale Hollywood biopic was released in 2006, "The Notorious Bettie Page," starring Gretchen Moll as naughty Bettie.

PEACE ON EARTH

This 1939 MGM cartoon directed by Academy Award-winner Hugh Harman was released at the dawn of the second world war. In this animated reel, the war is over and mankind has been wiped out.


According to Harmon's obituary in the New York Times, the film was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, though it is not listed in the official Nobel database. Either way, it is a classic cartoon from the golden age of animation and worth your time.

All that, and singing squirrels.