Sunday, June 13, 2010
DRINKING WITH LEFTY
Just so you don't think we're humorless anti-social lefties who stay at home nights perusing Chomsky with a hi-liter pen, here's some fun advice for socializing. (Socializing, not socialism, in case you were worried). As any frosty-haired, trust-fund socialite will tell you, you're going to need drinks and snacks. Your stockbroker calls, and says you dropped millions with all that creative sub-prime lending jazz--you need drinks and snacks. You get laid off, or have your hours cut back. Drinks and snacks. You discover Tiger Woods is on your girlfriend's speed-dial. Drinks and snacks. You feel like a shrimp cocktail, a few nice fat gulf shrimp in hot sauce, but the BP oil spill is already EIGHT times worse than the Exxon Valdez and shrimp are extinct. Drinks and snacks. Virtually any news item about Sarah Palin? Drinks and snacks. Whether you're a networking yuppie or a community organizer, a worker bee or a retiree or a slacker watching TV, sooner or later you'll hear that voice--sometimes faint, but getting stronger--calling for drinks and snacks. Listen to the voice.
This is the classic martini. Get to know it. Skip the silly sorority girl drinks--Sex on the Beach, Fuzzy Navel, all those sweet cocktails with parasols and gimmicky names--and skip those terrible mega-lagers, the Lite Beers and anything that comes out of a keg pulled by Clydesdales--and have a classic dry martini. Nope, it doesn't taste like soda pop. That's gin, if you have the classic, or vodka. And not the Appletini, the Peachtini, or any other sad bastardization of the drink. Get real.
Here are some tips on martinis and hors d'oeuvres from Lefty. Martha Stewart ain't got nothin' on him. See you at the barricades.