First, the classic Victorian valentine. This bespeaks a heart-shaped box, a difficult fastened bodice, and a special kiss on the river bridge. Oh, dear! Froggy went a-courtin, and all that good old-fashioned repression masking unbridled lust! In these days, they even put pants on piano legs. Perish the impure thought!
A half a century later, this valentine is from a pack of 32, with one card for everyone in class. This is the 1950s, the world has gone only halfway to hell, but true love competes with atom bombs and science fiction and hot rod cars -- not to mention rock and roll. On the surface, it's all golfing with Ike, but even that kind of heavy sedation can't kill the urge to merge, as long as you save it for marriage. You have a secret admirer!
The present day. This is the future you dreamed about, but not quite. Unless you dreamed of being a couch potato glued to reality TV. Our hearts may be a little smaller, but our asses are growing to elephantine proportions, and we can barely reach the remote without wheezing out of breath. Give this special "Veal-entine" to trendy vegans, or any friend stuck on a diet! No box of chocolates for these folks!
And now for some special Valentine's Day music, courtesy of Minnesota Public Radio. Click here.
No comments:
Post a Comment