Recently a cousin of mine (I have so many) was complaining about how "liberals" were to blame for the high cost of cigarettes -- not to mention all the other ills of modern society. "They should be rounded up and put on an island," she said, a costly Marlboro bobbing in her pinched lips. With all due respect, she was in over her head. She's not much of a reader. In fact, the only book she's read since high school was a right-wing diatribe against Hillary Clinton. Don't get me wrong, I'm not crazy about Hillary myself, but my cousin's views are to the right of Rush Limbaugh when he's out of Oxycontin and getting really cranky. Only her voice is more shrill.
"Liberal" is such a lousy world. To my cousin, it means everything she despises. I'm sure she pictures some latte drinking, flag-burning, tree-hugging cliche -- someone who disrespects the president and his glorious war, someone who is smarter than she is and makes her cigarettes so expensive. Her views are based on fear, and the flames are fanned by alarmist talk radio -- oh, and that book she read that time about Hillary. I disagree with almost everything she says. Except for the island. I agree with her about the "Liberal Island."
It would be nice to have a "Liberal Island." Liberals could enjoy the sea and sand and have some intelligent conversation for a while. No oversimplifications, no fear-based propaganda, no mindless militarism, no ethnocentrism, no freaking Walmarts and fast food joints, no angry talk radio, no cranky moms snapping at their kids in the grocery store. We could enjoy ourselves and question authority, listen to great music, drink coffee, maybe go snorkeling. When nighttime rolled around, we could build a campfire, roast some fish, and maybe play ukulele with Chomsky.
Thanks to my cousin, and people who keep voting for Republican idiots who give tax breaks to the richest one percent, all the beautiful islands have been reserved for corporate CEOs and celebrities. Not for people like my cousin, of course, who have to shop at Walmart for cheap tube socks. Evolution, abortion, gay marriage, Mexicans -- red flag issues that make her jump blindly into line and vote against her own interests. But the island thing is good, and why not? Mick Jagger and Britain's late Princess Margaret had estates on Mustique, why not me? Richard Branson owns Necker Island in the British West Indies, and Mel Gibson has a retreat in Fiji, and Marlon Brando lived on the French Polynesia atoll of Tetiaroa. Why not me?
In an article in Forbes, I found some good information. "There is nothing more exclusive or sought-after in the world that having your own private island," says Cheyenne Morrison, of Coldwell Banker Morrison’s Private Islands. "It becomes, effectively, your own little kingdom."One place to start: Fiji's Vatu Vara Island, which, at $75 million, is now the world's most expensive.
Who's with me?
Play "Liberal Island War Chant" by clicking button: